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But first they must catch you​.​.​.

by CBRASNKE

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1.
Thrown into the world And thrown to the wolves Grown out of pain, And left to die in the woods. Emotions run shallow, the hunger cuts deep. When you spend you're whole life searching for food, everything looks like meat. This is place the mind goes, when it faces neglected, And left out in the cold. This is the stories we chew on at night, so they never gets told. And where can you go, when you can't run with the pack? The lonely outcast omega, And the fields are calling, the grass is calling, but you’re still stuck in the woods. So you gnaw your leg, just to know your own scent. You dream of better worlds, while you're locked in your den. Your fur is shedding, your skin is breaking, Stressfully licking your wounds to death…. Born going feral, and left out for the hunt. Blood stains mark food, From lives left undone. And where can you go, when you can't run with the pack? The lonely outcast omega. There’s no story after the struggle, but there's pain after the kill. When the call of the wild is so loud, It's left ringing in your ear . Left out in the woods, Left out for the wolves. Spend each morning, licking your teeth To Spend each day, showing your fangs. For those who howl alone. For those who hunt, with no pack
2.
I want to know, why the heart sings and who's pulling the strings. What happens when it's vocal chords blow? when it's final notes come to a close? Because I'm feeling your palpitations, and your limitations. I only mean to be supportive, but my head needs a lot of sorting. Cause it stopped running in circles, only to run away. You could say I lost my mind, it serves to numb the pain. And my eyes will adjust, and your eyes will adjust, our eyes will adjust , To see through the dark. At the rubble of all we built, that surrounds us. As the weight of the dust kicked up, grounds us. Ambulance flashes, a pulse has died. A body sits on the corner, of hope and lost. So many people in my life, coming in and out... "I'll remember you" (Gorilla Biscuits) And I'll keep waiting and hoping, the longest answers not summed up with, "Goodbye”.
3.
Emotional, flat line, most feelings disconnected at the spine. That's the way I spent the last six months, "I'm doing fine thank you very much”. But you fought ’til the very end, smile faced for all your friends. You don't deserve facade. So here's my feeling before forget them all. You don't know, when things will change, you only know stays the same. You don't know, when things will change, and since you left, nothing's been the same. But I feel like, Some where between science fiction and the realm of superstition, lays the land we use to cope. After life stories played on a loop. Your friends will be there your pets will be there Your family's waiting They hear you praying. Yet the image of your body remains And somehow there's no more pain. Fables and fairy tales? For those left behind that care? I still remember when you came to me and said "man I'm just too weak" It was the beginning of the end, the beginning of the very end. I stayed awake until you got rest. Crying my self to sleep. I made it about me, and we made it us Is there forgiveness when you're gone? Is there anything at all? Do these fables have me crazy? Are there ever signs? Or just tricks of the mind? I'm not trying to be bleak, frailty makes life more important to me. I'm the type that needs to touch and see, to know it's not just a dream. So let's burn, that flame, once more for old times sake. So I can feel you in the air, when a gust passes through my hair. What I wouldn't give, for some confirmation One more final Collin reiteration: "Daniel believe Ryan believe Jeffrey believe Ian please believe " I'll keep listening.
4.
Transmission! Trans-mission! It's calling out are you hearing it? Broke signal? No. Broken receiver. The call is clear its your static tint. Would it hurt you so much to imagine: Bigger veins, dirty needles, You saying "I don't believe 'her”. Sprouting hair, a cocoon, Filtered through the voice of you. It's not "live and let live". It's "support and be supported". I'm lucky, To have a body that feel home to me. At 15, I found a note I wasn't meant to see. By a friend, with such detailed pain, And it read: Dear god, Do you dislike me? Because; Why won't you take me back? take me home? Make me whole? I have been hating you, for making me, In this body. I just want to live, in a body that feels like mine, and have it be recognized.”
5.
Salem 01:48
Salem Sleeping in a glass house, waking to throw stones. Breaking down your peers, And those you used to know. Crucified by the boys in blue. They’re on a witch hunt and they’re coming for you. Bullying tactics that respond to critique, our obedience is what you seek. Meaningless arguments you weave like a quilt, so progressive you don’t process your guilt. belittle, batter, shamed and silenced. Up on the stake and we’re ready to burn. The witch are ready to burn.
6.
Dyatlov Pass 03:07
7.
Sting Ray 01:22
How many more songs can be written on the concept of death, without approaching how it can mold us? So scared to die were afraid to live, no say in this matter that controls us. Making us slaves to the crippling, hollowing fear, instead of redefining greatness But still the most cautious of men were: Grappling Animals intimate with danger and teeth, never minded that sting ray. with every moment you’re paralyzed by your "safety”, but while you're sleeping, your "sting ray" comes. For you. Spent his whole life fighting failing lungs, just to die of cancer. And every day she wore a seat belt, to get hit by a car, In a bike crash. Spent her life scared to leave the house, died in her favorite arm chair. Don't fixate on how you may die. live hard, And enjoy the ride.
8.
And this is the end of everything, These are the words, I choose to sing This world, won't swallow me whole. This world won't swallow me. But when you reach the end you’ll just find new beginnings. Separated by awkward silences, to remind you, that you are not winning. I hear they make us different, up here in the Norths cold. Maybe it's something in the water, that allows us to grow old. So does it matter if it's half full? As long as it's not empty? Does it matter if I call for help? No ones coming to get me. I wish I could sleep, with no fear and no worry. Confined by four walls, and times running out, So I’m now in a hurry. And you know it's going to hurt, this time its gonna kill. This time you're gonna feel it. with every piece of you. A reminder, of your mistakes. It's time to feel your -REJECTION -REMORSE -REFLECTION the last step is….. To face an end One chance is all you get, after that you can sit with your regret. Your broke heart? Try broken dreams. A weathered penance for living past your means. You can't rebuild, until you burn. Only then can you reclaim. But first, you're up in flames.
9.
Trending 01:33
We're all socially ill. We're turning on our friends, and the more we're sick, the more it trends. “Your life is inferior to mine, your thoughts, and ideas are a crime”. This is the impression we set each day, our compassion rusts away. "Don't think, don't speak, Just come with me”. But it’s your game, your rules, that at any point they can turn on you. You're not "debating" you're just on the attack, and you're too blind to know the difference. Diversity, just don't disagree, as you dictate what's offensive. Your thought process makes me feel sick, and your disease has gone viral.
10.
Bethany 03:32
Beth's ten years older. The age shows in her eyes. 30 years of trying, and nothing's turned out right. And pain works in circles, as she thinks of those that she hurt. acting out of self preservation Cause of those who hurt her. And the more she hates her self, the more she lashes out. The easier it become comes, to spiral down. But she doesn't want to feel damaged, and doesn't want to harm others. She whispers, “We all want to be good people, in the eyes of our mothers”. But that's just the thing, routine takes work, and self deprecation stains our progression. She had to move through her past, then forgive herself. And Beth closes her eyes Brushes off the dust Her condition started to improve. She finally found rest. she started to feel happy. And she left the past behind her. "Everyone deserves to be happy.” Her mother chuckles on the phone. Happy tears fill up her eyes, as the call comes to a close. She won’t be controlled by her monsters. Instead she chose to feel better. At thirty years old, she's reminded her dreams can't be killed. At thirty years old, her full story can be told. Rebuild yourself to reshape your world. She won’t see you in hell.
11.
When I was young, I didn't fear a thing. Jumped from the highest spots, of the jungle gyms. Never knew life, moved so fast. Never thought I’d have to hide, and cover my tracks. Sitting at the cusp of 32. I'm tired hiding yet too hurt to move. You say your your scared of death finding you? Are you feeling it close to you? than you better run....... On rabbit legs, from rabid teeth. Hiding from the kill. Hiding from whats real. All the tunnels you burrowed, are all crashing down. It's all coming down around you. Your dreams were all sold as your body grows old and it's taking control, it's taking control. you can't sleep at night, every moment you hold tight, but there's no where to go, there's no where to go. We develop ways, we develop ways to survive, until you realize. “But first they must catch you” tThe world will crush, kill, and break. But first they must catch you. Dive, weave, hide, from the snakes. But first they must catch you. You can't hide from yourself, my friend. The dealer wins in the end. The game was over before it began. The dealer wins in the the end. A thousand enemies, a discomforting thought, “One day I'll be caught". I know it's scary, But what can you do? It's coming for you..... “All the world with be your enemy, Prince with a thousand enemies. And whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you.”

credits

released June 2, 2016

Recorded at Godcity in Salem, MA.
Vocals recorded by Urian Hackney in Burlington, VT

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CBRASNKE Burlington, Vermont

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